Sometimes I think I sound like a total sad sap. But hey, I try to always speak the truth. As my 15th birthday rolls around, I can't help but ponder on what I've learned in these past 15 years. It's weird. I've realized that most of my best moments have been solitary. I can't help but think how weird it is that I've grown alone all my life. I think that maybe to really grow you have to be alone. In fact, I'm pretty sure Jack Kerouac wrote about it. Still, I'm happy for the friendships I've made. The few real ones I've made.
And I'm glad that God has gotten rid of all the people who would have ruined me or led me away from Him. Even if maybe it hurt me at the time, the Lord knows who you are and knows what the best is. Just imagine if I had kept all those friendships that were corrupting me. I would most likely be dead. I came close to death last year. My mom told me to forget about that whole incident, but I don't think I completely want to. It's strange, but I think that pondering death makes us want to enjoy life more. Most importantly, simply the fact that I'm alive is a miracle. The doctors said that many patients die from skull fractures. I'm alive because God has a plan for me. He has one for you too, that's why we should always keep our eyes wide open.
Here's a little song that reminds of someone that really jacked up my life and my best friend's life too. It's "Bad News" by Owen. Check it out:
"Whatever it is you think you are, you aren't:
A good friend, unique, well read, good looking, or smart.
Well, now you know.
Well I hate to be the one to bear such bad news,
I know it hurts to hear but it's true;
You don't mean anything to anyone but me.
And even I think that you're blinded by conceit
So now you know,
The free beer and basement shows don't mean what they did.
It's what you do, not who you were,
What you wear, where you've been.
So do something.
Whoever you think is watching you dance from across the room they aren't.
If anything they feel sorry for you because you try so hard.
I know it hurts to hear but it's the truth.
So you might as well hear it from a friend.
You're a has-been that never was.
And I know it's mean to say
But it's something I've been meaning to say for awhile.
You're a has-been that never was or will be."
Let's try to keep the unnecessary out of our lives. See ya next entry.
