c'est la vie

I know I already wrote a pretty lengthy entry today, but I just found out about something very important. It's about Mikey. The musician I love that passed away in October. There's been some news about his death. If you're interested, it's here.

I don't know why, but every once in a while I forget Mikey is here and I get so sad. I never met this man, ever. I had only listened to him for a couple months. But I think his death has been one of the most hard-hitting things in my life. I miss him more than anything. Like I said, I don't know what it is. I only can hypothesize. It's admiration for sure. But also love. The kind of love one has for their best friend. That is certain. But the "whys" are very uncertain. I don't think I'll ever know why.

When I look at Mikey, I feel like I'm looking at a part of myself that can never become reality. Maybe that's why I get so sad. I see what I could be if things were just a bit different. But still, I don't get mad because of it. Because I know that not only myself, but everyone else has the same potential he had.

This is starting to become senseless rambling. Dudes, all I know is that I love Mikey and I miss him way too much. I remember, after he died, I didn't believe it at all. The night it really kicked in and I realized he was gone, I cried harder than I've ever cried. No exaggeration. This news made me feel very similarly. Every time that feeling kicks in, it's like a huge sting. Nothing makes me sadder. Yet, I'm happy that hopefully, he's in a better place. And that I knew him. I never met him personally, but I feel as though he was one of my closest friends. That's a very beautiful thing. And I cherish it. Rest in peace, Mikey.

"The second you can look into the sky and see your own reflection
You know you're headed in the right direction
The river ride ain't always smooth, but with it I live
And everything is perfect, just the way it is"