grown ups like them and losers like me

I've been dying to make a little entry on what my favorite albums ever are. But just now I was thinking. It's a bit ridiculous to make a list like that even if I'm 14. Sometimes I forgot just how young/old I am. I can't possibly be the only one. I've always felt a couple years ahead. Sometimes I look around and I'm like, "All this stuff people my age are going through, I went through at least two years ago." I think that most of the time it's a good thing, but every once in a while it makes me feel a bit lonely. There's no one to relate to, you know what I mean? Not even those older than me. C'mon, they're not gonna take us seriously. 

Something else that gets to me almost everyday is wondering how people with a lot of friends feel like. Gosh, that sounds cliche and teen-angst-esque. But I'm sure y'all understand. It's weird, isn't it. I can count the people I actually consider friends on one hand. I'm not very fond of most people in my current high school. So, I get through the day pretty much wordlessly. It would be nice to talk to someone. Or just have one conversation without fear of awkwardness. There's been times when I just want to jump into someone's conversation or just sit down next to someone and start up a random conversation. But that would make me weird. That's something else that gets to me. Like, if you see someone wearing a band shirt you like and you compliment them, or something similar to that, they'll think you're weird. That's one of my pet peeves. How the hell is that weird in any way? I reckon it's my age, or my gender, or my height. Geez, it's like I have some sort of anti-human spray on me. While we're on this subject, have you noticed that no one is passionate about anything anymore? Going back to the band shirt example; they can be wearing the most obscure thing possible, and you'll say something about whatever band it is, and they'll just be like, "Yeah, cool." I don't get that. You should be damn excited because someone shares your not-very-common taste in music. That's how I look at it. If someone says something about my Hot Water Music shirt, I'll be stoked, because not everyone on earth listens to them(though they should). No one is passionate anymore. About anything. I used to think it was me. But not anymore. It's people. Folks nowadays are simply not social. That's why I've become so introverted. It's not worth it. You know, having forced conversations with dozens of people and all the awkwardness. Believe me, I want to be an extrovert. But I'm forced to hold it all in. I'm sure you understand.

I'm walking a tight rope, here. Too old for 14 and too young for anything older. Oh, and the title from this entry comes from the song "Quincentuple Your Money" by The Lawrence Arms. I know I touched on the "ever" subject on the beginning of this entry, but The Larry Arms are probably my favorite band ever along with The Gaslight Anthem. Those are always my top two. Fun fact: "grown ups like them and losers like me" was originally going to be the name of this blog. But it was too long, so I chose a Have Heart song title instead. So anyway, see ya next entry.