october in the railroad earth

You know what really grinds my gears? Hetalia. Effing Hetalia. Now every time I search for a certain country on DeviantArt, I get little chibis running around in Nazi uniforms. I was doing a search for "America" right now, searching for some New York City in the '20s sort of thing, and all I got was damn Hetalia. Ugh. But who cares, it's just another weeaboo magnet.

Now that I'm done venting that frustration, let's talk about something nice. You know which type of music is so very often misinterpreted? Jazz. People think it's old person music. Or that all of it is the kind of stuff you here in elevators. Gosh, they're wrong. That's how it is now. But back in jazz's heyday, jazz hipsters were anything but boring. For those that don't know, hipster wasn't always a word used to describe college kids who steal their parents cash and debate over what is ironically cool or not. Hipster used to be a word to describe artists, of any kind, that were completely dedicated to their art and didn't really give a flying banana about anything else. Usually it was used for poets and musicians. Also, I really hate that smooth jazz crap they play in elevators. Screw that. It sucks. It's totally void of any real emotion. My personal favorite form of jazz is bebop jazz. It's rad. Thelonious Monk is probably my favorite jazzman right now. Oh, and John Coltrane and Charlie Parker are really great too.

I've always had an affinity for anything having to do with the '40s and '50s. That was one of America's highest points. There's something really magical about everything. That explains why I really love bebop-jazz and old fashioned diners and railroads and beat generation writers. I don't listen to jazz often, but I think I make it obvious that I have loads of respect for it. I once heard someone say that jazz music is the most free form of musical expression. I think that maybe they're right. Emotions in jazz are like, very...layered, for lack of a better word. There's a lot of flexibility. And since most of it is instrumental, the expression depends on the instruments. I think that it might just be the most free form of music. It doesn't even have a snobby fanbase behind it, so that helps a lot. Maybe it's not exactly the most free form of expression, but it can be really diverse. 

So that's all. Just wanted to give somewhat of an update and share with y'all a little thing that brings me joy. See ya next time.

this pistol is a detachable penis

I have a feeling this entry is going to be quite long, but idgaf. But anyway, this entry is about how female anime characters get called useless from scrawny dorks who are trying to extend their manhoods by watching shonen anime. I'll give you an example. My favorite female character from any series ever is Orihime Inoue from Bleach. Oh. My. Goodness. I have never heard the useless-trip used more for any character ever. I mean, if she really was useless cannon fodder, like say Sakura from Naruto, then that's okay. Sakura doesn't even develop as a character as far as I know. Though I lost interest, I've been a fan of Bleach since before it became a dubbed series. Orihime is probably the most developed character. The reason she gets so much hate is because she has healing (technically time rejection) powers instead of a sword. And because she has an empathetic personality. Oh, and because she has deep feelings for the main character. And these scrawny dorks automatically freak out when they see their ultra-manly shonen series be infested by feelings other than anger. Because, that must mean, it's girly, right? Pfft, boys don't watch things about girly things like love.

Duderinos, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. A character doesn't need to blow shit up in order to be a strong character. Most of the time those characters are totally substanceless. Of course, I love badasses like Alucard from Hellsing or Spike from Cowboy Bebop. But they have to have some sort of substance. That is what makes a good story. Personally, my favorite characters ever are the above-mentioned Orihime Inoue from Bleach and Alphonse Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist. Both of these get the useless-trip from scrawny, insecure dorks. But anyone who's mature can see that they both have a lot of emotional strength. Going through insane mind-scarring shit that would probably make the main characters squeal. And love in a series isn't bad if it's well done. Like I said, Orihime at the start of Bleach, had a crush on the main character. But as the series went on, it developed into love. I won't go into detail, but it was a totally logical progression. They went through some very scary moments. However, it was also very human, due to Orihime having feelings of inadequacy because of her power's limitations. I think maybe that's what makes her an all-time favorite for me. She's very human in a series that has a lot of crazy non-human characters. Oh, and before I leave, I want to share a quote with y'all from one of the episodes. This is where she confesses her love to the main character, as he was sleeping. It's some complicated crap, but here it is:

"you know I had a lot of things I wanted to do... I want to be a teacher... I also want to be an astronaut... and also make my own cake shop... I want to go to the sweets bakery and say 'I want one of everything'... Ohhhh, I wish I could live life five times over. Then I’d be born in five different places, and I’d stuff myself with different food from around the world... I’d live five different lives with five different occupations... and then, for those five times... I’d fall in love with the same person..."

I cried when I watched that episode. If that wasn't the most heart-breaking love confession ever, you must be heartless. I'm not sure why I wrote this whole entry. I think maybe my nerdiness is starting to come back to me.

Also this was really fucking long. I'm paranoid of long entries. I'll let it slide this time. See ya next entry.

this scene used to be a sausage party

Today's entry will be about...wanna take a guess? I've been wanting to write an entry on women in the punk scene for quite awhile now.

I'm sure you all know that when I write about the punk scene, I don't mean shit like Nofx or The Misfits. I mean punk that doesn't suck. In other words, underground punk that's actually underground. At first glance, punk/hardcore/indie/everything in between might seem like a total dude-fest. But you have to look a bit deeper. There's been a new wave of women in punk. Not only that, they're important. Like, Marissa from the Screaming Females. Sheena from Lemuria. Tegan and Sara, the indie duo. The ladies from Mixtapes, RVIVR and Tigers Jaw, whose names I can't find anywhere. Also, if you're interested there's a Straight Edge blog that's run by some really awesome girls. It's called xSisterhoodx.

In addition, I always hear guys in interviews saying they wish there were more women in their scene. I heard Pat Flynn say it just recently. Also, we got dudes supporting us. Polar Bear Club wrote a song, "Our Ballads" about it. Latterman was a band known for their fanatical anti-sexism. No surprise their singer is now in RVIVR with two girls. I know by now you're like, "Don't other genres always do this?" Answer is no. I'm into a lot of dude-infested types of music and they don't even talk about it often. One example is the metal scene. All the women there are unimportant. They're only there to look pretty. And most of the time they only sing (cuz that's all they do) in lighter metal bands. Whenever a girl does something in a heavier metal band, she's seen as eye candy. Never for her talents. Just find a heavy female-fronted band on last.fm or youtube, and all you see is guys going, "Oh, so-and-so is so hot." There language tends to be a bit more obscene, but you get the point. Also, chicks in metal seem to not respect themselves either. They're always dressing like total sluts. I'm damn glad I'm not into metal. I'd hate to be around so many people like that. 

One can argue that punk has less girls, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the enthusiasm. Us females are slowly coming into this scene. It took us awhile, but now we're really taking it over. Another argument is that punk is less heavy than other styles. That's a bunch of damn nonsense too. I won't elaborate due to lack of space, but the above-mentioned Polar Bear Club song touches on that exact argument. Girls in punk aren't seen as eye candy either. I don't think I've ever seen that, even as a joke. Sure, guys might comment on a girls appearance, but it's always respectful. Something like, "Oh so-and-so is so cute. I'd love to talk about so-and-so's new record with her." You know what I mean. We're also respected as listeners too. In dude-fest scenes we have to "show our knowledge" to be accepted as one of them and they think we're doing it to impress our boyfriends or whatever. Point is, I'm glad that there's this little movement going on. And that in at least one scene, females aren't disrespected and we are seen for our talents. Let's rejoice in high-pitched voices over grungy guitars and adorably awkward promotional band photos.

And to think this was once a sausage party. Huzzah.

c'est la vie

I know I already wrote a pretty lengthy entry today, but I just found out about something very important. It's about Mikey. The musician I love that passed away in October. There's been some news about his death. If you're interested, it's here.

I don't know why, but every once in a while I forget Mikey is here and I get so sad. I never met this man, ever. I had only listened to him for a couple months. But I think his death has been one of the most hard-hitting things in my life. I miss him more than anything. Like I said, I don't know what it is. I only can hypothesize. It's admiration for sure. But also love. The kind of love one has for their best friend. That is certain. But the "whys" are very uncertain. I don't think I'll ever know why.

When I look at Mikey, I feel like I'm looking at a part of myself that can never become reality. Maybe that's why I get so sad. I see what I could be if things were just a bit different. But still, I don't get mad because of it. Because I know that not only myself, but everyone else has the same potential he had.

This is starting to become senseless rambling. Dudes, all I know is that I love Mikey and I miss him way too much. I remember, after he died, I didn't believe it at all. The night it really kicked in and I realized he was gone, I cried harder than I've ever cried. No exaggeration. This news made me feel very similarly. Every time that feeling kicks in, it's like a huge sting. Nothing makes me sadder. Yet, I'm happy that hopefully, he's in a better place. And that I knew him. I never met him personally, but I feel as though he was one of my closest friends. That's a very beautiful thing. And I cherish it. Rest in peace, Mikey.

"The second you can look into the sky and see your own reflection
You know you're headed in the right direction
The river ride ain't always smooth, but with it I live
And everything is perfect, just the way it is"

when i arrive, i won't know anyone

Today I want to comment on something that is very hard for me to put into words without being offensive. As we all know, I am a devout Christian. However, I can't stand most mainstream Christian music. I don't mean like Christian hardcore, which I talked about earlier. I mean like the stuff they play at churches. That modern rock-esque stuff. Damn. How do I say this without being offensive.

Maybe it's all a matter of taste. But I don't know. All that stuff sounds and feels so forced. That's subjective though. For me personally, I'd rather listen to a band with a Christian songwriter than listen to a Christian band. Unless it's a Christian band from a genre I actually like. Praise music seems to only target those who are already Christian. I know it's not always true, but let's face it, most of the time it is. It also mostly targets middle-aged people. Also, a Christian's life isn't composed of only praise. We all have our demons. We all have had our doubts and strayed away a little. That's why I love it when a band's songwriter is Christian. A lot of these people write about everyday problems and doubts from a Christian perspective. So it can be taken from a secular point of view but has more meaning if you're Christian. Now, being a Christian, this is all very hard for me to say and I feel like a traitor. I guess I just don't like...this modern mentality. I'd rather be left alone and tested than be around a group of Bible study kids. Is that bad? I don't hate modern Christians at all. I just hate how modern Christianity seems so soulless. Is that just me? I hope not.

Since I ranted so much about mainstream Christian music, I might as well share my favorite underground Christian song. I think one of the best Christian songs ever is "Jesus Christ" by Brand New. 

"And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem is going to last
More than a weekend"

That's some really deep stuff right there. Brand New is a really good example of the kind of bands I wish there were more of. But if anyone is interested, there's also Thrice, The Hold Steady, Against Me!, The Gaslight Anthem, Smoking Popes, Braille, and Sufjan Stevens.


Speaking of Sufjan Stevens, I don't know much about him, but yesterday I listened to this one song by him called "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." named after the serial killer. It's basically telling John Gacy's life story and then it takes an unexpected turn.

"And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid"

Of course, Sufjan isn't a serial killer. What he's saying that we are all sinful. And that we all hide it. We are all the same, though we don't seem like it.

Hopefully you'll listen to those songs. I guess I've never heard stuff that deep in modern Christian rock. I wish it would be more like that. Remember, there's nothing wrong to be a Christian and admit moments of doubt or sadness. That's how I look at it.

an orgy of broken computers.

Sooo, it's been a long time. I've got quite a lot to talk about.

 What first comes to mind is that I went to the mall this past Saturday. Sawgrass to be specific. Oh em gee. Hot Topic there has the BEST vinyl EVER. Like, really effing obscure records. I almost had an orgasm while looking through their vinyls. And dudes, I came across a record that will probably be extinct in a few years. Have Heart's live album, in white/clear vinyl. Those aren't even on the record label website anymore. There's no way I'm ever selling it though. Gosh, it's so good. Pat Flynn, the singer, made a little commentary in the record sleeve and I love it so much I might type it all up and post it on here. It's beautiful. I love Have Heart to death. In my opinion, one of the best hardcore bands ever. Plus I gotta give them props for getting me into straight edge. Always. On that note, my grandmomma might be buying me an antique style record player. Which is awesome, because it's the first time in a million years she notices me. She has this favoritism with my two annoying cousins. I hate kids. But whatever, I'm getting a 5-in-1 record player. It's even got a place for cassette tapes and usb drives. Biatch.
 
I might be starting two little projects on this blog. One is going to be reviewing the month's albums at the end of each month. Feel free to recommend me new records every week. The second is going to be a little mixtapes project. Mixtapes were originally a hip-hop thing, where rappers just rapped over some beats and pressed it onto cassettes. They would go out all over their neighborhood and offer people their free mixtape. Then the indie scene caught onto mixtapes and they would take existing songs onto cassettes. It would be in order to maybe express how they felt and give it to someone, or to get their n00b friend into Braid and The Get Up Kids. I was thinking of doing something like that, except right on here. Pretty cool.

You know what I really love? Nostalgia. You're all going to laugh at me, but back in the day Bleach was one of my favorite anime series. My nieces wanted to watch it with me last week, so I sat down and saw a few episodes with them. Now I'm getting back into it. Dayum. I feel so much nostalgia. Everything is like, coming back to me. Every once in a while I'll be like, "Oh yeah, I remember that! That was awesome!" Bleach is still an awesome series. It's just the fillers that suck. That's the problem with popular anime. However, it's a million times better than other cliche series, you know what I'm talking about. It's less childish and the characters are always interesting. Something else I noticed is that I had totally different taste in dudes when I was 11 years old. I used to be into the really typically-anime-looking-guys back in the day. Now it's drastically different. Like, now I think the bad guy in Bleach is the sexiest thing since sex. Everytime he's on the screen I make the "icameplz" face from DeviantArt. Back then he was basically nonexistent to me. It's just so interesting to revisit stuff from my childhood and see that I still love it. Also that my taste in men isn't horrendous anymore...

OH BBY PLZ.

...I came.